I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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