Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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