How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize