dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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