How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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