Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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