I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
