i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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