Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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