I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
