where am i from again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
