I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
