she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
