Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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