You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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