I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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