its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
