Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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