I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize