How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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