so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
