9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize