I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
