doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
