Where is the hickey?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
