you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
