How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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