She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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