I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
