Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
