Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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