I look better un-naked...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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