I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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