Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize