she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
