Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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