I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
