Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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