I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize