READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
pop tarts are not kleenex
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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