think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This girl is more easily done than said...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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