What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize