Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
