I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you had me at cake vodka
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
