sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
