I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
