I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
