i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
