So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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