Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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