Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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