I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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