everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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