Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
